Update: we still have no cause of death, the ME is still looking into it... I'm still holding down the fort, although between my own issues and trying to care for my disabled child all alone, things are pretty rough. When the death certificate is final, we will all inherit her life insurance policy, and I plan to use my portion to buy a couple vending machines so I'll have an income that doesn't require me to be in a particular place at a particular time, since my loyalties are with my daughter... As many times as I've been suddenly called to pick up my daughter from school, I'd have been fired by now for missing shifts... Not to mention I'd pretty much need a nanny in order to go back to work. Right now, we are living off of her 401k, and I'm praying I can make it last... I feel guilty for spending her money... Like I don't deserve it... It was supposed to be her retirement money. I wish I could've at least kept it for my own retirement, but I guess we all have to pay the cards we're dealt... I'm lost without her in so many ways, working being an important one... She was the only other person trained in my daughter's care, and that took years. We often worked opposite shifts to care for her. Now it's just me. And nobody can help. I still cry for her daily, and still wonder how I'll ever live without her... I'd give anything to have her back, thigh I suppose that goes without saying... My birthday was yesterday... The first one I've ever had without her getting me a cake, taking my daughter shopping for a gift for me and throwing me a little party. It was a rather rough day. Today isn't any easier... It doesn't help that we STILL don't know why she was taken from us, and can't piece together the events of her last night. I'm still doing my best to care for my brother and sister, with help from the navy in my brother's case. I see his desperate posts on Facebook when he has bad days, but he won't really talk to me. We've always had a strange relationship since he's 14 years younger than me. My sister is now a single mother, another one of many in my family... My grandmother divorced when my mom was little, my mother didn't marry until my brother's dad, and I never married either. We have no one left but my uncle and his wife and things are strained with him since he's never really been a big part of our lives. I'm trying to convince my sister right now - as I type - to at least try to include him in her life. For my brother and me, it's just weird, but he was openly mean to her on at least a few occasions. I'm struggling to keep my little family together the way my mother did, but she left big shoes... I still can't get the image of her lifeless body out of my head, and often find myself crying in public. I think that going back to work as a cna (my job) would be a threat to my mental health right now. Too straining... Idk what to do. I miss her terribly, she was half my heart... I'm doing my best to just get closer to my daughter. And on top of all this, my "boyfriend" has not been around. Screw him, I suppose... He skimmed over our two year anniversary, Valentine's day and my birthday. The next time I see him, I will tell him he makes a great friend, but I can't be anything more to him, since he clearly doesn't want me to be. I'm tired of being ignored, not taken seriously... He makes no effort to keep me in his life, and my mother told me I deserve better. I will carry all of her advice with me for the rest of my life... I guess that's all I can do.