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Originally Posted by Redsoft
I agree they shouldn't just be terminated and left out to dry - referrals and sources are needed. But I definitely don't agree that the therapists are failures. Where is the line exactly, for things being officially dragged out? When do you give up hope for helping someone when that's what they came to you for, when that's your job? When is too early, when has it been too long? It is not so black and white.
If the therapy fails because a patient is reluctant to a point of complete resistence/inaction or lacks the capacity to try, regardless of how badly they actually need the help, the patient was not ready for therapy. They need to want it. They are the one that enlisted the therapist's service in the first place. If it is so serious as to warrant action still/they do not have the capacity to think clearly for themselves, that would be out of the depth of the "regular" therapist role that is being discussed here and into inpatient stuff.
I mean, a completely trivial example compared to this subject, but: If you went into a hair salon and asked for a haircut, but then partway through didn't walk yourself to the sink, didn't move your head, couldn't choose a style, refused to have your hair dried or parted for the process, maybe turned your head the other way mid-cutting, changed your mind about the style, changed it back, stood up randomly to get water, made them switch cutting tools....at what point does the stylist give up, even if your cut is half done and haggard? They've had nervous or indecisive clients before, but had they known you would be so incredibly resistant, they never would have agreed, they know this isn't something they're great at - but you went to them, so how could they know? Are they supposed to strap you to the chair to finish? It may be time to call in someone with experience to better handle it. The road to success is not so one-sided.
I also think it is just really important to remember that therapists are just people with a different job than us. They wake up in the morning, have coffee, check their schedule, and return the phone calls of potential new clients and get excited, hoping they can be of help and do what they set out to do. During the appointment, they are still a human sitting there, not a calculating machine, processing the barrage of thoughts and heavy ideas we as patients throw at them, thinking heavily on their responses, how to progress things in a productive way, hoping they've phrased things correctly. After appointments, they think about the visit, consider options. I'm sure many agonize over the things they've heard...maybe they feel overwhelmed at that moment, maybe it brought up hard memories for them personally. Our relationships with therapists may be stark and stolidly professional, but up until the moment they see you, they are just another human dealing with their own humanity. No one can be consistently close-to-perfect every time.
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Therapists are failures when they allow things to drag on without referring the client on. It's a failing. It just is.
And comparing them to any other profession is really irrelevant. It is not like any other profession at all. The comparisons are meaningless really.
Not asking for perfection, just that they not inflict horrible trauma on someone. Not too much to ask for. They are the ones who went to school to work with troubled people. It's irrational to expect the troubled person to know when the therapy is bad or wrong or not working. That is on the therapist. Totally. I know it isn't an easy job, but no one forced them to go into the profession. No one made them and they should accept the huge responsibilities of their difficult job. Like I said I do not expect perfection, but some of them fail, most probably fail at times. And it can be devastating. I just get so sick of client blaming. The therapist has the responsibility and the liability and the training. They should know what they can handle and what they can't handle and if they can't handle it then find someone who can and do it in a humane manner. That isn't asking too much really.
And trust me, I've heard all of what you said before. Over and over and over. Really. It doesn't change my mind at all.
Also, where did anyone say therapists are supposed to be perfect? Haven't seen that.