Both. I haven't told her some of the more difficult and embarrassing things that I have done, and on what I have told her we have differing opinions. She said something once about the difference between me doing things and having things done to me. The way I see it I was an active participant in my "csa", but she says that those things were done TO me and I did not have the ability to say no or escape from a terrible situation. This is bologna, I was there, I had a voice and all it took was one short sentence to stop it all.