When my SI was really bad, I mostly did it out of habit for no particular reason, but the past few months, every time I've lapsed it's been because of some emotional crisis.
For me, it's sometimes out of anger at myself (feeling like I deserve to be in pain), but more often it's a control thing. My worst urges are when I'm upset about some external problem, but I can't do anything about it.
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Diagnosed with EDNOS and major depressive disorder
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