Welcome to Psych Central (PC) r0xychic. Sorry you are feeling so much hurt and confusion over this relationship.

Some people at PC will find a therapist will help them if talking is one way you naturally work things out. Meeting people here at PC has helped me also.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.