I have done everything to cope today......my mum duties are done, my boy is at hus dads......

Im not doing ok. I just spent 10 minutes standing in front ifthe wine.fridge at the supermarket. It took all my effort to walk away.

Now Im sat in my car on the street with a bottle store(liquor store/off licence) on either side.of the street from me.....I cant get myself ti drive away to an empty house. I want a drink.so badly.......

I am a mess.......i hate myself right now....i just.need to accept this and move on.....but i can't

I really think a drink would help....i know it is stupid thinking after 4 years sober......



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