((((wechoose)))))))
I can relate to you on some of this. My husband died 6 yrs ago. And I know if my husband was alive I would not be going thru some of the things I have went through. Sometimes I get mad at him for dying and leaving me to face these issues alone. It's certainly isn't easy when you are alone...trying to do it all.

I think it would be good for you to find a support group or find a friend that you can get help and comfort from. It would help you tremendously.

I am sorry you are going thru this and at anytime you want to talk...pm me....
Take care,
Snow