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Originally Posted by Shadix
The problem with this is that no girl is attracted to a guy who displays weakness or incompetence. Girls are wired through evolution to desire guys who are socially graceful and excel at what they do.
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Speaking as a woman here...no. No we are not. The big red flags for me are arrogance and judgementalism (and anger). Confidence is fine, excelling is fine, but I don't specifically look for that in a man. I look for someone who is open and fun to be around. Nothing to do with confidence or competence.
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The root of my problem is not social anxiety, it is the fact that I just suck at life. I am naturally incopetent and whenever I try to do anything, it shows. I don't know what my problem is because all the idiot therapists I have been to just say its social anxiety. But because of this, I cannot connect with anyone socially. All my interactions with people are inhibited and fake because if I acted on my true impulses, I would be exposed. I have no interest in having any sort of interactions with people if they see me as a loser and pity me. I would literally rather live my whole life alone. Basically I am forced to choose between being fake and being pathetic. I choose fake. So basically what happens is that when I meet a new group of people I try very hard to keep up this facade making myself look normal and desirable, but eventually I slip up and they see that I am a loser. At that point, I give up on them and move on.
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That's called social anxiety. I'm a bit like that too sometimes. When I feel I've slipped up in some way or made a mistake, I just never see them again.
But that's exactly what social anxiety is.