Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit
It starts from the beginning, with:
- not making promises to never leave
- not fostering dependency by encouraging between session contact to process emotions
- making it clear that the type of therapy they practice does not focus on the therapeutic relationship (and if it does, then they do have an obligation to stick it out)
- apologizing
- admitting to not being skilled enough
- not blaming the client
And, if it's clear that to the therapist that she/he isn't skilled enough, to find a good referral and continue to see the client for check ins (like an MD would do). |
I agree with all but the "not fostering dependency" one. I think the therapeutic relationship can be helpful practice and to some extent we depend on people. I depend on my husband, for example. I need him and he depends on me, he needs me. We've built a family and we all need each other to survive in the way we want to - as a unit. People who are overly dependent need to learn how to have balance and those, like me, who try to do everything like a one woman superhero, need to learn it's okay to relax in the uncertainty that dependency and needing can bring. It's okay to depend on people even if they might fail.
That being said, I think my T has a healthy way of our connection - I can email as much as I want and there's no expectation he's going to reply. Sometimes he does and that's great, it's helpful, and it doesn't happen often. For me, this has been helpful in terms of me working through some very negative self-judgments I have and my inability to express certain things.
The key is that it be done thoughtfully. I don't think Ts always do that. Nor do I think they set up realistic expectations with regards to their time or what they can do.