I think it is very hard to judge anyone who has not been in a similar position themselves.

It is difficult enough for many bipolar sufferers going through mania or anyone suffering psychosis to act rationally, to make appropriate judgments. It must be made all the more worse when being the victim of some form of blackmail (or any offence) to then act rationally.

I assume in your case Gareth Monkton you are looking for the answers as to why you did not act rationally or consistently with your character. The answer may be that "it was the illness and NOT you as a person".