I think some people do realize this, but the abandonment feelings are feelings from the past. They are like PTSD flashbacks. So while the rational part of your brain knows that you are not being abandoned, the emotional part of the brain overrides the rational part of the mind, especially for those who by their nature, feel things more intensely. There's been several times where I took a break or 'quit' therapy with this therapist and every time I spiraled into massive feelings of abandonment even though I was the one in control and initiating the separation. The separation itself triggers the emotional re-experiencing of an abandonment regardless. When therapists handle this poorly, i can imagine how much it would intensify these feelings.

Coping skills can certainly help, but long-term psychodynamic therapy seems to be, imo, the only thing that fixes the core of the problem, changing how a person relates to oneself and others (personality) in attachment relationships.

And there's the problem--there aren't enough therapists competent in this area. I can't see that it's abandonment issues that need addressed, but ego strength, intra-psych structure, internalized object relations, etc...all things that take years to transform by someone with appropriate training who has gone through years of their own therapy as to avoid the enmeshment and inabilitly to handle countertransference that I frequently see occurring by poorly trained therapists on here who end up calling it quits.