Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
I am having a real problem since we've started talking a lot about certain feelings and things that happened in the past. During the week I can feel angry and emotional, play out conversations with my T and even write things down to discuss but as soon as I get into session I shut down.
I answer things yes/no/maybe. Can't discuss in detail. Even reading the emails out it feels like a stranger wrote them and I shrug and don't want to discuss. I emailed about an issue I wanted to talk about, it's hard for me to start on it. We chatted a bit and T asked to come back to it next session. Next session comes around and she's asking me about something else and complimenting how calmly I can discuss it.
I wanted to scream. I am calm because I am not letting myself feel this. It's not a sign of doing better but of hiding it. Finally I bring the topic up AGAIN that I am looking to discuss and she says " Oh yes, I'm sorry you did say you wanted to talk about that well we can now" With TEN MINUTES LEFT 
It's a very hard thing just to say at the start please lets talk about this. I have tried asking her to bring it up, emailing her, reminding her and we do not discuss it. Instead she asks me about this other topic that I am sure is relevant but not where my brain is and so I'm not sodding anxious about it right now but this does not mean I have gotten over it.
Sorry for the rant, hope any of it makes sense. I'm so frustrated and now I have to wait another week, I'll fume about it all week and then probably shrug and smile and say nothing come therapy time. |
my t does this too. absolutely no follow through on topics we agree to discuss "next time." she offers no structure, no guidance. its like asking a 2 year old what he wants to do every day, and going with that, and if he cant think of anything you just do nothing. i really think a t who offers more structure would be best.
or just accept that your t is unwilling to "accept responsibility" for the topic in session- something mine has refused saying its not her job-- and figure out ways to structure it yourself.
something ive tried to make communicating easier is to record myself reading whatever it is id like to share with my T. much simpler to press play on a recording and while its playing its easier to reconnect with the emotion you had when you made it. also you can do it at the start of session rather than waiting 45 minutes to build the courage to do it at the end.
(i use my ipod for this). hope it helps.