hi roxychic
i do see how you were getting mixed messages but i can also tell from your description why she would say you were acting needy and possessive. the post seemed to carry that tone. however it does seem like she was benefitting from the relationship and then when she no longer needed it she tossed you off. but i do see the value in keeping the relationship, especially if she is going to become your SIL. it seems like a talk is in order to clarify boundaries though. the relationship needs to be defined and the rules need to stop changing. using i feel statements is essential.
i feel....insert feeling word
when...describe situation trying not to use word you
because...how it impacts you
what i would like is........describe what you want

so, i feel frustrated when i received mixed messages regarding the nature of our friendship because one minute it seems we are bffs and the next i am relegated to an aquaintance who only gets contact once a month. what i would like is some understanding of the nature of our relationship.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome