yeah all that stuff. i have even done it in the therapist's office. He almost had to call rescue but got it to stop on his own. i didn't mean for that to happen. we still have the scars for that one for sure. i used a small knife. razor blades are sissy to me because they heal so easily and only give a slight stinging.

some of what i've used to not do this is just not take time. i've journaled, have a stack of those lying around for whoever to read is not fun but there's noone around anyway. and i've used other tricks i learned like using red markers instead or just imagining it all.

why take time at all? i just don't do time hardly at all because i'm too depressed to. noone wants me to be here (alive.) i used to try and see the therapist and sent hundreds of pages of collages with my feelings but nothing ever changed except me not getting time and not cutting. The rest in the circles don't care about me just as long as i don't cut on a special day for them or do so where noone can see. big deal.

i guess jj has told you about me (the brat) i don't have a name but tried to go by no name and had to shorten it to nona to make it easier for the therapist. like i care? Call me anything, everyone else does and i don't use capitals when i refer to myself because i'm not important enough to. it's just "nona" sounds like a girls name.

so do you do other stuff too or is si'ing your only job? i mean, within your circles or whatever you call them, system? jj is right about all the stuff going on with the adults and no time for the rest of the circles and anyone that isn't an adult. they can have it. why should i take time just to deal with adult stuff?

i'd rather just read here. posting doesn't do much for me. nona