dear t,

i am hurting.

the c-ptsd is just getting too much. it's past the point of overwhelming - it's completely and totally encompassing. it is consuming my entire life.

if i'm not sure how to climb out of this agony... it confuses me that if there is a God, then He lets us suffer so much... why? what purpose does this prolonged dying serve? i feel cheated, somehow, cheated of the life i was SUPPOSED to have...