What an insightful thread. Wow. Never thought of it this way.

My house used to be organized and clean and nicely decorated all the time. When I first got PTSD, things feel apart and I no longer kept anything organized, sort of representing feeling out of control. later, when I got MDD, I started neglecting things like I neglected myself. If i'm feeling hopeless, what's the point of taking care of things? Then it got to the point where it's at now--some piles of papers have accumulated; boxes and bags are waiting for me to address. Probably represents not wanting to deal with stuff I need to deal with but am still feeling resistant about...just am not ready to go there yet.

I've thought about this before in terms of my mother, who is a huge hoarder. I suspect she can't let go of the past and deal with the present, as that matches her other behaviors and overall mentality. She's been in denial for a long time.

I don't have hoarding habits, but there are certain things I can't throw away since they represent a time in my life when everything was so much better. It's difficult to part with the reminders of that time in my life. Similar to how people listen to the same music for years and years...like 60s or 70s music...those were the sounds playing during the best time of their lives. So they don't give it up.

IRL, so glad things are looking up for you. Thanks for sharing.