I'm so sorry you're struggling with your good friend's su. I sure do get it about how it brings up things in your own life/existence! I too am in a place that I'm "giving in" to my binge eating disorder. I don't know about you but it makes me nuts that I respond to "emotional" things with out of control eating. I want to be treat myself in a better more mature way . . . funny how I'm not able to do that! I sure hope things get better for you. I'm glad you're able to be open and caring for your friend who wasn't able to handle the stress and destruction that they felt in their life. Sometimes we feel angry or disappointed in our friend's choice, but it seems to me that you just feel sorrow and compassion. You're a good friend. Take care.