honestly that made me feel better abotu myself. in a way i kinda know where your coming from about gaining weight. going to college i was about 120 and yea i never thought i was fat but for some reason i loved purging it made me feel empty. but when i went off to college i lived a whole different life style. i started to drink way to much, eat out all the time. then i started to notice i gained like 8 punds my first semester. and i was purging too. but i never lost my weight even thoughi was purging alot. i started to take over my life and i didnt get my menstral period for about 8 months. then when i went back 2 semester i was so determined on loosing weight the right way that i started to spend hours at the gym and i still do. im only about 2 punds away from my goal. so i totally understand how it feels to loose weight the right way its amazing. but for some reason everytime after dinner i begin to become week and start to purge and start the cycyle all over again. and then ill be a little depressed that i allowed myself to fall for the trap. its just hard because i know its a mind game. sorry i just rambled on to you my life story. but you made me feel comftorable cuz i know you have beeen through it and at times i jsut need to talk to someone who understands instead of judging me. thank you.