I understand how you feel. For me it's like looking at the world through a haze or water. I see happy people spending time together but no matter what I do I'm not a part of it. For a long time I would offer to take people places and pay for it so I wouldn't have to be alone. I grew tired of that and now I spend my time alone. Maybe they can smell the loneliness and desperation on me and that makes them pause. Maybe I choose the wrong people to be friends with. I wish I could share something positive with you but all I can say is hang in there and hope things will get better. (hugs)