I know exactly how you feel. I've definitely done similar. 
It's so frustrating that while trying to protect ourselves, we cause the most damage to ourselves! 
If you can work up the courage to contact him again, I'm sure he would be responsive, as it sounds like he is sad to be losing you.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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