I don't have another job lined up as of yet, but I am on sickness for at least another year, or another three months if I chose to stay in the job I'm in, which I don't feel able to do.

Nope, there would be no burden on the household if I quit. I don't have any dependants, and my sickness and disability is more than enough for me to live on. When I was hypo and got the job last year, I was intending to go off the benefits and into work, which I did for a while but it became way too much. So i went back on and cut my hours down.

There's a lot more than just persoanlity conflicts at work. I find the intimidation a lot worse. And I tell you, working in a job where you're serving customers constantly and therefore having to smile and are expected to talk all the time during a depressive episode, drains me even more. I had another "performance review" last week and I basically got the worst score you can get.

Not being good at social functioning, my pdoc reckons my job is draining me because of the social demands and that's not compatable with my autism. And it is difficult. Seeing as I have to do two hours travelling two hours to work and two hours home from work (four hours travel for every shift) and my only means of transport is the bus, the anxiety and Aspergers go into overload and I'm already emotionally exhausted by the time I walk into work.

I can cut down to 6.5 hours as that is my minimum contract. However, I have been told off for refusing to work more. And 6.5 hours is spread over two shifts, which is eight hours of travelling on public transport The travelling alone is intense.

It makes it more difficult that I'm having my meds tinkered about with, and feeling the side effects. I'm not sleeping well either - I cannot sleep until 4am to 5am. And doesn't help either.

Normally I can sort of handle 6.5 hours but that's one 3 hour and one 3.5 hour shift, with no break. So for six hours including travel on public transport and getting ready for work, I don't stop having to face people, moving and socialising. Which leaves me feeling drained before the end of the shift. And then it's another two to three hours travel back (the latter of the Sunday shift).

Last time I asked to have my hours limited, I got told by the manager "Well you cant have it both ways".

The environment makes me feel extrmely uncomfortable. Luckily there is nobody relying on me financially. And my disability payments are more than enough for me to live off. So I'm not sure why my partner can't accept that I need to get out of the job because it's having a profound impact on my life in and out of work. At least for a few months so I can look for new work without being stressed by my current job whilst I'm also having to study for my exams in July.

Despite considering looking for a different job, that could take a long time. I can't stay in this job for longer than about 11 months anyway, or I lose all of my sickness and then I'll only be earning £180 a month, which isn't enough or nearly enough for me to live from. And I'm also still assessed as "unfit to work" which means id get very little help from the services finding work. I think it would be easier to look for work and continue my studies whiLe not in in a job that's exacerbating and worsening my mental state.

And nope. He doesn't work. He was up until November. His mum quit his job for him because he was depressed. he isn't diagnosed however. Which makes it hypocritical that he should insist I stay in work, I believe.



He has refused to do so, and refused to do any therapy with me. Alas, I have to keep my treatment and my relationship seperate.