AnxiousGirl I also have a similar situation with my therapy.

I find that some weeks are really productive and other weeks I totally close up. I do email my T but she will often bring up the topic face to face and I will say I don't want to talk about it so she respects that. However it means I often feel that it is pointless going.

It is great to hear others say that they used to feel like this - it gives me hope that things will get better and there really is a good reason to keep going.

I hope that one day I will be able to speak openly and honestly with her in person the way I do during my emails to her