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pinkflower17 · Mar 15, 2015 at 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poiseandpen

Hello all ...

I have struggled with depression for many years, and depending on what is happening in my life is how deep the depression goes. On top of that, I have Multiple Sclerosis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, etc, etc, etc ...

It can be and is often overwhelming, and I cannot seem to get a grasp on any of it. I am so tired from seeing so many doctors, and trying to address my pain issues. I hurt 24/7 and get very little relief.

I just found a pain management doctor, who doesn't even want to prescribe muscle relaxers, which do help me when have them. I cry a lot, and sometimes wish "an act of nature" or some other event, would kill me to put me out of my misery. I am NOT suicidal, but I can't stand living this way either.

I feel hopeless at times, and go for days at times, neglecting myself. I am married (no children) and even though my husband knows how I suffer, I believe he has no idea how depressed I truly am. I tell him, I do ... but I think he just can't comprehend just how bad off I am. I feel so alone at times, and pray I can just go to sleep and not wake up.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I only get relief when I am asleep, and unaware of my physical and emotional pain. I dread waking up, only to start the cycle all over again for another day.

Please, if anyone has suggestions, I would very much appreciate to hear what you have to say. Thanks so much.

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. I also deal with depression, an eating disorder, and chronic head and neck pain issues/chronic neurological issues stemming from meningitis, infections in the bones/discs in my spine, abscesses in my brain and spinal cord and surgeries to remove several infected discs/vertebrae/fuse my entire cervical spine and a craniotomy and crainiectomy to drain the infection from my brain.
I'm sorry your doctor doesn't want to prescribe what works. I get not wanting to prescribe Soma, but there are a lot of other muscle relaxants. Can you get another opinion, another physician?
Personally, I was on heavy duty narcotics for a long time so I try to avoid them if at all possible. I don't respond real well to them. I take tramadol, oxycodone occasionally, occasionally a baclofen, a lot of ibuprofen and a ton of other meds for other things. I also get occipital nerve block injections once a month and botox injections every three.
For me, heat, ice, exercise, stretching, journaling and spending time distracting myself from the pain seem to help. I don't know what all you've tried or what, if anything works for you.
I understand your significant other not understanding. I just ended a 5 year engagement mostly because he was just sick of dealing with all the illness and depression and couldn't ever understand what I was really going through. I think it's one of those things that's impossible to understand unless you're going through it or you've gone through it yourself. I've dealt a lot with suicidal ideation and not wanting to be around anymore and still am dealing with it somewhat.
I don't really have any great words of wisdom. I just wanted to say I understand what you're going through and I'm sorry you are going through it. I hope you can find some relief in something soon.