When one of my co-workers made coffee for the first time, she didn't put the pot on the burner before pouring the water in and then went back to work. A few minutes later, we noticed coffee was all over the floor and slowly inching it's way out of the break room. We all thought it was hilarious and pitched in to help clean up the mess. We all still love her and we even let her make the coffee sometimes. I make coffee at home all the time, but when I first started working there, I had to ask how to do it because the machine was different than what I was used to.

Seriously Dude, there's no way you're going to convince us that you are some sort of 'freak' or whatever. You seem rather human to me and seriously need to give yourself a break and stop being your own worst enemy.