Its 3.42am over here.....and I'm couldn't help myself any longer...I check the bike forum......and sure enough lots of get togethers for his birthday....

Pictures from the "pool and beer" nights. I feel like his new mates are rubbing it in....how they are having a party for him...............I just want to cry...other (girls) are coming down to spend time down there...........My God the bed isn't even cold yet...!!!!!

It just hurts.............hurts so much.............. I know I could just go out and find a fling.......but that not the same...is it and I won't drop myself to that level.

My biggest fears all my life have been................me left on my own.........and its happening.

i just want to pack up and go down there...............and say I'm here everyone can go home now....!!! I want him to welcome me with open arms.

He brought me an engagment ring for Christmas.gave it to me but didn't propose.................!!!!!!!! What should have been a wonderful time turn really bad.

You see its all my fault..........He's lovely and caring and I want him back.

What do I do................??????????????????

I'm crying...crying..sobbing and it all my fault.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've lost the love of my life

The person who knows me best,

The ONE