Hey AnxiousSadGirl,

May I ask what happened?

Yes I have recently been abandoned by my therapist... I understand your pain... All I can say is - time heals everything. At least the intensity of it... This is the second time a therapist in the public health care system has abandoned me and I am about ready to give up and go get a job specifically so I can put myself through private therapy... It's terrible. I don't want to trust anyone ever again but I know that I will immediately attach to the next therapist that I am assigned... One thing we borderline's cannot do is stop ourselves from attaching when we need it.

I was in hospital for almost 3 weeks just to get through the denial. That is how I got through the initial shock. Now I've accepted it and I'm starting to level out - but honestly - when it's at the peak of the pain - there's nothing in particular that helps me. Aside from, "holding on," while the roller coaster does it's thing - I don't know what else to say. It really is all about learning to, "ride the wave," so to speak - and allow the emotions and the pain to run it's course. There's nothing we can do about it and fighting our pain doesn't help. I think learning how to tolerate the pain is the advice I would throw in your direction - in which case - learning DBT skills is an asset.

The thing that helps me the most with pain is self-soothing. For me - I wrap myself in the softest, warmest blanket I can find, wear a diaper really snug and rub my hand on a super soft pillow. I even drink a warm beverage. I look up landscape photography. I write on the forums and get my mind off my own problems - if even for a few minutes. I go buy some junk food - I indulge in whatever gives me pleasure.

I hope this helps.

Please hang on. This too shall pass. (Not saying that in an invalidating way)

Thanks,
HD