ellahmae, I know what you are meaning, it's hard to understand what will be said until you get comfortable. I want to feel vulnerable. That is the point. I need to feel that so I can open up and reach out to my therapist. I feel that when I reach the point that I can't do this anymore on my own then I will automatically reach out to my T. When I do I will get better, thank you for your comments and I am sorry for your mood and hope you feel better.