Hi there, want to let you know that your words resonate with me and I understand. I deal with depression and social phobia on a daily basis also. I'm sure you know this but it would be a good idea to stop the drug use, really it'll only make things worse. There are things you can do to help yourself without a psychiatrist or psychologist, books you can read, etc., but if you find you can't help yourself then you may need help from a professional but I get that the money situation is a struggle. It's good you're posting here - little things like having someone to talk to openly can really help.