I can relate so much to your original post. I did really well in college too and am planning on starting grad school soon but I too am always fighting off confusion, brain fog, anxiety, defeat, etc. It feels like "Why am I working so hard when nobody even knows or cares who I am?" Everything feels like a struggle. It's so hard to express anything. And I avoid relationships and opportunities too. Like, I almost never see my two best friends that I've known for 22 years and they live a 15 minute bus ride away. I can really empathize with what you're going through.