Hi Tenderheart. My heart goes out to you. Some of your story sounds so much like mine. It really sounds like you work in the same office where I work. We are short-staffed. One person is expected to do the work of 4 people and do it perfectly with no mistakes no matter how busy things are. I also hate my job but have no choice but to work to support myself. There may be some options you can take. You can see if there is a family practice doc who is willing to prescribe an antidepressant. Generic Prozac and generic celexa can be purchased for $4.00 at Walmart. I wonder if you would be eligible for assistance from a community mental health clinic which charges by income. There are some self-help books you can read.

By all means put the drugs you are taking away before you become addicted. It is so tempting sometimes to take something like hydrocodone or have an alcoholic drink to escape the emotional pain but down the line it just makes things worse.

I hope and pray that in time you can get a different job or a better job. It is a shame that we who work so hard get paid so little. I don't know if there is a place like Dept of Family and Children's services who could help you find affordable therapy or group therapy? I am in the same position as you. I cannot afford a psychiatrist or therapist and my insurance has a $3000.00 deductible. I am at least thankful that my medical doc is willing to prescribe my antidepressant. I see him about once every 3 months and he costs $77.00

I am hoping things change for you. Keep posting.