I have been seeing doctors for four years for treatment of my OCD and only last year did I start doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I improved for a time, but have since slipped back and now find myself struggling more than ever. I know that CBT and medication is the best way to deal with OCD, but I'm still stuck in the mire. I haven't been able to work since February '06, and I'm hoping that I can learn to live with the OCD and have a normal life. But at the moment, I can't seem to find my way out.

My psychologist says that in treating OCD you usually take two steps forward and one step back. Right now, I'm smack bang in the middle of the step back, and it feels less like a step and more like a lunge. I've been on all the different medications: Anafranil, Prozac, Zoloft, Lamictal, Lithium, Epilem, Effexor, Risperdal, and others. I'm on Zyprexa and Luvox at the moment and I'm just not seeing any difference. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am close to being hospitalised.

I cry myself to sleep every night. Twice I have OD'd on sleeping tablets (On the first occasion I had to be taken to hospital), because I just wanted to sleep, to get away from the urges and the compulsions (Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, I never have been and the overdosing wasn't an attempt on my life). My family is so unbelievably supportive and I hate that they have to worry about me, and I hate knowing the pain they went through to see me in hospital after I OD'd. I can see that it is sucking the life from my Mum everytime she sees me screaming at the mirror while I clean my teeth and spit blood into the sink.

Look, I just need some advice, words of encouragement, and any ideas on how to help myself and my family cope with this. I really appreciate it.