Purging is terribly addictive. I did it for a while and it got to the point where I would literally feel like I was going to vomit after I'd eaten, even without going to the bathroom to do it. It was hard and for a few days I just had to fight the urge. I would go to bed feeling sick and really want to purge as it felt like it would happen anyway, and I really had to fight to keep that feeling down. I found just going to bed and trying to fall asleep helped. I only ate once a day late at night anyway, so that helped. But you CAN do it. It's another form of control, only this time YOU choose to be in charge of it YOU take control. It is hard but only you can make the choice, and it IS a choice. You CAN do this, and you will. Eating right and exercising will make you lose the weight quicker. When you purge your body goes in to starvation mode and then any food that enters the body gets stored in fat. As long as you have a healthy work out regime and good eating patterns don't feel that you will put on weight if you stop. It will be so much better for you. I have faith you can do it. You are almost there and doing SO well. Imagine how great you will feel when you quit!!