i want to offer you hope because i know that there were many years in my life when i thought i would rather die then go through another day of the ocd rituals.....from what i read, you are trying so hard to find some solution.i urge you to keep fighting, keep searching, keep trying meds and therapies.......i was lucky...i only had to try a half dozen meds before i found what worked for me but the trial and errors were hard.......now i am 90% free of my symptoms most of the time......keep up the fight! its worth it!