I got myself involved in the same kinds of situations when I was younger. Taking a break from dating until you get this (at least somewhat) sorted out is a great thing to do. It really worked for me.

TBH, I feel very disconnected from the part of me that dated those mean people for so long. I don't like to think about it - it doesn't match my idea of who I am now. I also don't want to talk about it with anyone or let people know I did that. It's not something I've been very self-reflective about, so I can't really offer good suggestions as to why you have this pattern.

Because I don't really like thinking about *why* I would do something like that, I just told myself that I had to stop getting involved in those situations, even if I was attracted to them. I made a list of warning signs and avoided people and situations that tripped any of my flags.

So maybe it is enough to know that there is a part of you that finds this sort of thing appealing and that you would probably be happier if you resisted that temptation - sort of like the way someone who has dealt with substance abuse has to resist their substance of choice.