I am not sure what the emotional traits are. As someone who grew up with an NPD father and who then dated quite a few probable narcissists, I think some of the problems for me are:
- not knowing what's normal.
- too much attention paid to signs of someone else's pleasure/displeasure. This affects many aspects of my life.
- not enough focus on what I want, a feeling that I need to do what other people want because that's 'right.' Saying 'no' is bad.

That's about what I've identified so far. If you think that some of the stuff you are dealing with is related to your past relationship, you are probably right. The question I would then ask myself is 'what led me to that relationship?'