Hi gerber, that is a great goal, to make a better connection with your T. How long have you been seeing him? Does your T feel there is something lacking in your relationship or does he think it is proceeding a-pace? That's great you are talking about this with him.

I've had two therapists. With the first, I had no emotional connection, but I didn't know I was supposed to. I terminated with her when I had exhausted her skill set. With my second (and current T), I had an immediate emotional connection. It was very powerful. I think back to those first few sessions in amazement--I didn't know what hit me. So from my experience, the emotional connection was either there or it wasn't. With my current T, we have continued to build the relationship. What helps is sharing of emotional and difficult things, seeing him handle it and react with empathy, gaining trust, and really internalizing his strong desire to accompany and guide me along my healing journey. It is one thing to say rationally, yes, I know he wants to help me, but quite another thing to know that with every cell in my body. That has taken a while.