I think you are misunderstanding his view and intentions.. We both know whats best in the long term. We both know about DID and its treatment. We have both done a lot of reading. Sometimes I just forget all that I've read so I can come off as completely new to these theories. But I have spent hours and hours reading.

He doesnt want me to force seperateness if its heading the other way naturally. He simply thinks trying to take the walls down by myself right now would cause too many trauma flashbacks and distress, because we have lived seperately as our own 'people' for so long ; I can see where he's coming from. Integration is something that takes professional guidance, not just played around with or forced. Ive realized this the last few days, as my anxiety has gotten worse and worse trying to force this. I can hardly function now. I think I need to just let the walls be up for now and leave it alone. Its just hard waiting for a therapist.