I tend to agree with your counselor...

If however you feel compelled to "do Christmas"...might I suggest you set some boundaries and stay in a hotel.

So if the boundary is crossed you have some place to go...

I had to leave my ex's in-laws on Christmas Eve when her brother did something that crossed her boundary...we were packed in 20 minutes.

I hugged her mom goodbye letter her know I was sorry that we had to leave under these circumstances...that an apology from the brother would probably prevent it. She simply said that she didn't want to make him made. So we and children left...