One thing that crossed my mind, upon reading a response, was the point about your bf's child and telling to change the child or the relationship is over. That'd be a point for me, as a single parent to shut down and build walls. Of course, it's not a child's decision on who their parent is involved with, however, sometimes they are their own people and granted need reminding about who's adult who's child, suddenly there's this nagging feeling like it's the kid or the new partner. Feels icky.

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