<font color="purple">Getting to the point of realizing that it was his bad decision and not my fault, I think, will take some doing. From what I am reading here, it seems like most people go through this. I'm sorry for that, but it also gives me some hope. When something like this happens, I imagine we all feel that it is our fault. How else could we explain causing so much devestation? Do they not realize the consequences of their actions?

Thank you for sharing with me, Springstar, it helps me to see that I am not alone. And I am sorry that we have to share such a story, as many others here also do.

There are other circumstances. I am an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, which I've never worked through - but am getting help now.

My husbands affair only concreted my feeling that I am nothing more than an object. Why can't they see all the goodness? I do everything so he doesn't have to. I did this to make his life easy and comfortable and it made me happy. Now I see that none of it is appreciated and I was taken advantage of. A door mat. A convenience. There is no self-worth in that.

I see that I am going to have to redefine who I am. I asked my psychologist yesterday who I was, what I was meant to be? And the silly guy said that answer was within me! I sarcastically replied that I've done a bang-up job so far!

**Heavy Sigh**
Songbird </font>