I think dependency isn't only measured in terms of finances. You can be financially independent from him (which you clearly demonstrated in your post above), but dependent on him in other ways.

My guess would be that you are dependent on his appreciation towards you. You mentioned that you did a lot for him when you guys first met. Providing him a place to stay, transportation, and extra funds for bills. Surely he showed appreciation for all these things, no? Then as soon as he took that away and showed dissatisfaction with how you did laundry, cooking, etc, you immediately tried to adjust to fit his needs.

Do you think you may have overcompensated everything just to please him?

I could be wrong, but it seems to me like what you really wanted out of a marriage was to be appreciated for everything you could contribute. Because let's face it, you are really smart, thoughtful, hardworking, and admirable.

The only reason I say this is because I too have been in a relationship where I did everything for the guy. My friends and family were extremely disgusted with me and would say things like, "You're wayyy out of his league." "What do you see in him?" "Why are you paying for his rent?!"

I think Rose made a great point about how your husband wanted a wife who would just be submissive and serve him. Of course, you couldn't have possibly predicted that 6 years down the line, things would turn out like this. So don't worry about the past. Just please do your future self a favor and try to break free of that need to always please him.