Might I suggest snail mail...instead of a visit or email...Email tends to be to quick for a new jerk reaction.

My father left before I was twelve and died when when I was 35 (1 1/2 years ago)...In 2001 one after some correspdance I agreed to a visit ... it went ok...during that I gave him my boundaries regarding our relationship going forward as now I had children and wasn't going to have him it my life if he was going to be on and off again like he usually did. I was not going to subject it on my children...

Well in less then 6 months...you can guess...

So please take it slow...during that snail mail phase you may be able to figure out why now part....