Maybe I should state more specifically what it is that I did last week that makes me feel so ashamed. For one thing, I hid my face in the blanket when I felt scared. I also asked my t not to hurt me, but she reminded me that I also said I want her to hurt me. I acted scared of her even though I know she isn't dangerous. I felt scared, like I could bolt at any minute. When she asked me if anything bad had happened to me that I have not told her already, I could not speak up - even though nothing specific came to mind. So I don't know why the words wouldn't come out. I cried a lot too, but that's not too different for me. . .