Its been a hard few days. My husband had to go away and it triggered off so much abandoment issues. The last time he went away was 2yrs ago and 2yrs ago I was still into " I will hide from my feelings" and the denial I was in then is outragoius looking back.

A good friend chatted with me on IM last night and asked me questions, and I felt for the first time that I could trust her, rely on her, know that she is really "with" me.

I also found out I had mice last night LOL and was faced with the problem of a trap, peanut butter and a mouse! I paced up and down for a while, afraid that I couldn't help myself out of this situation, and eventually realised that its ok to be afraid of some stuff and knocked next door and asked my neighbour to remove the dead mouse and trap :-(

He did this and we ended up having a real belly laugh. I felt better because I found out that if you ask, there are people that will help you. I'd never felt like that before, never believed or trusted anyone would help you.

I feel like another new groove has been etched into my brain now and I watched myself work through and ocme out of this state attack..