Sherryanne,

I was raised Catholic, and guilt and fear of God, can easily result from this upbringing.

On top of that you have all of the abuse issues, which surely have resulted in feeling ashamed. There is no reason for you to feel ashamed, but that is one of the normal results of enduring what you did.

Your abuse also was a major contributor to your acting out as a teen.

Can you find a good protestant church? When I made the shift I bloomed under the sermons about God's love and caring.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

Hugs,

EJ