[QUOTE=Gavinandnikki;4345636]
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I haven't looked for more than a year because I know it triggers me. There are only a handful of photos but what bothers me when she changes her profile picture she gets over 50 comments on how beautiful she is. I agree, but it still bothers me. Maybe other comments on other subjects are hidden, and she did tell me she doesn't go on FB much. I don't know if I'm jealous or what. I think it could be because she doesn't seem to be vain, but posts a picture like that. She wrote that she was thinking of using that photo for her website which hasn't happened yet. If I were male, I'd be afraid to see a T who looked so striking. She doesn't usually wear makeup at work.
I wish I hadn't looked!!! I didn't think before I clicked. I was looking at someone who wanted to be my friend, and I don't know who it is. Then, I typed in T's name. Once I did tell her about seeing her FB photo. Idk. She will take one look at me and see guilt written all over me!  She knows me too well. She won't be angry, will just tell me I know that it hurts me to look.[/QUOTE
Spur of the moment regression into past behaviors that you have grown from.
No biggie. Let it go, stay where you are now in therapy- which is SO much better than where you've been before. |
It's scary how quickly I can get off track. Thanks, gavinandnikki. I could probably do SE with my feelings about it next week if they don't go away. I don't think my reaction is as severe as in the past but I still think I will cry when I'm trying to fall asleep tonight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl
maybe just old habits flaring up or a need to check with her since things have been going well lately? i like the suggestion above to let it go if you can and focus on how far you've come instead 
I do wonder why your T continues to have it so her facebook is set to public when she knows clients including you look and get upset by it ...  not that she needs to change it, just wondered about it |
Thanks, tigergirl. I was curious. In the past, she told me she thought she did have FB private. I'm sure there is a lot more that is private. There are just a handful of photos but you can see the comments by others with their names.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jo_thorne
I wondered the same thing, tigergirl. I looked up my T's FB profile once right after I started seeing her, rainbow, then I felt guilty!
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Thank you. How did you stop yourself from looking again? I don't feel guilty because my T knows I used to look, but it upsets me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by therapyworked4me
One day Rainbow you will learn not to touch the hot stove. Let your therapist know how you were affected by looking this time (IMO it did not affect you negatively), it might move you along more in your journey. For me, it was a no-no to look or touch any of mom's things because I was to little, I might break it rip it what ever. When all I was was curious.
Take care.
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Thank you. I don't know if telling her will help. I'll post here instead and maybe get it out of my system. I might tell her or I might not.
I want to say: "T, it makes me think we're strangers when I see you posting those glamorous photos on FB. Like you are doing it to get compliments. Maybe you are. I know the feeling! It seems so unlike you, though. I also don't understand why so many people comment on how beautiful and happy you look. No one comments on MY profile picture. I don't even like FB and I know you only go on about twice a year. It's none of my business anyway.
I AM happy with our relationship and with my progress. I don't know why I wanted to screw it up by looking at your FB page. I know you don't have to explain yourself either. But if you do use that photo for your webpage, I don't know. It looks too seductive. You're not that way. You're down-to-Earth and casual. I think those photos will be great for dating sites! "
I feel better getting that out!