Thanks Hooligan & Alison.
I ended up taking something for anxiety last night and falling asleep. It did the same thing cutting would have.
I did get to see T today, she's back. I don't know what was wrong to keep her out for so much time, but she seems ok now. Phew!
She even offered extra time since we missed so much. After some hesitation & conversation around it, I took it. It will be good too, since I was quite out of it during today's session. I know we talked, I know I left feeling good, but I really don't remember much of what we talked about. At least this way I will be able to check with her again around that.
I hope all that made sense. My vertigo kicked in again today, and it has me very spacey.
Thanks again <3