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SongBirdandDaisy said:
For you, I would not look at this situation as allowing him the ability to ease his guilt, but a way for you to put this all behind you. However that needs to be accomplished for your well being and mental health.

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In all I feel as though I have put this matter behind me (that is what 10 years of T will do for a person) - and that is probably one of the things that has me so unsure about this visit - the "What IF" thing.... what IF this visit __________ (fill in the blank).

I guess the only reason I would allow this visit (w/ me - other siblings have to decide for themselves), would be for ME to settle one last issue that might still be open and invading my marriage...
For I know all to well and admit that my relationship with my father (or the lack of it) has indeed effected my 21 year marriage.... in the ways of these two men being similar to each other and in letting me down by not loving and protecting ME as they should have.

So - maybe this visit could help me put an end to a rather difficult matter that has been testing my mind, love and patience for the last few years.

? ? ? ? ? ? ?

... i HATE being so UNSURE of things.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What does one do when another makes amends with them and yet LIFE goes on as usual..... do we continue to live as we once did and if YES, How? - for now the Gate has been opened again.
.... plus, to me to make amends means to CHANGE - to make room for - (by the amender).