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Originally Posted by therapyworked4me
Your going back to look at her FB doesn't mean you screwed it up. That is normal behavior! Even your head conversation, about putting the pics on her website is normal. You are involved in a relationship like no other. You can decide to have that conversation (I don't like secrets), or not. But, if you tell her, is that adult to adult telling her, or is that the little rainbow who wants to keep her to herself? Also, you don't have to tell her how you feel about the photos, unless she ask, but IMO you owe it to her to let her know you peeked, perused or whatever, and not leave an important part of your therapy to just be debated on this forum. You've come to far. My opinion only.
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Thanks again, therapyworked4me. You gave me lots of good advice. Yeah, child parts don't want T to be so attractive and so popular, though adult me feels honored that she's my T. I think it's a case of cognitive dissonance. My perception of her doesn't match her posting these photos. It's confusing to me. I suppose it's because I can't know all about her but she's been open, not a mystery. Adult and child stuff! How I feel about her photos may be relevant to my therapy though I don't want it be.
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Originally Posted by licketysplit
I'm pretty sure that profile pics are always public (along with the comments), even if status updates are set to private, so she may not even know. Whatever you do about telling her you visited her page (I personally don't think it matters), I do agree that you might want to keep your review of her photo to yourself. I don't know anyone who would want that kind of feedback.
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You're right except my reaction is about me. She would say "grist for the mill" but I don't want to criticize her. I did that once and spent about a year apologizing. Idk. It's not about her. That's progress, anyway. It's wanting to be like her but also not understanding.
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Originally Posted by lolagrace
There is a way to slow down this impulse. Block her name in your settings. You won't even be able to search her name; nothing will pull up. That will give you a few moments to think it through, and it takes a few steps to go back into your settings and unblock a person. It isn't completely fool-proof; you could decide to unblock her. But it wouldn't be an impulsive move at that point.
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That's practical and smart only I don't think I can do it. It feels like I'm punishing myself though that's not the case. I have to figure out WHY I wanted to look other than curiosity. I don't know. Hopefully, I won't want to look again for a long time, or maybe I'll discuss it with her again. I do know she's not my friend and has her own life besides work. If I still have this urge, I need to work on it with her. Sigh.