This is just my opinion, but in a situation like this I think two things become paramount:

1. Protecting yourself and others
2. Getting help for your father

The dance becomes supporting and getting help for your father while also making sure you and others are safe. If everyone disconnects, it seems to exacerbate things and he doesn't get the clinical help he needs to correct those behaviors. So I think first, make sure you and others are safe and then support him in getting help correcting the actions that have lead to the situation.